There is a great difference between things you appreciate, you find pleasing, you – well: like and those things you are passionate about.
Back in 2018 I decided to dump all my web projects save my professional website. It was an act of defiance and at the same time surrender. I was angry because of failing response to my latest publications which again showed me that even my most successful website had only a tiny rest of its former popularity. At the same time my business went down in a constant curve of decline right down to virtually nil, leaving me with yet another bitter pill to swallow: acknowledging to myself that there was no hope for my business and above all for me as a businessman.
Spite, anger, sadness, disappointment made me destroy what I loved.
But as I said above: there are things you do not drop so easily. My self-employment? F…k it. But it was not long before I started to shove back my darling projects onto the web. First Kopozky, then this very blog here – and finally, just yesterday my archive of fanzines: fanzineindex.de.
Everything I valued is back in place. (Only one domain got snatched by a shitty linkfarmer.) And as for the fanzines archive, there are even four brand-new entries: a comic magazine, a punk fanzine, an originally Dadaistic (and now not to classify) fanzine, and a leftist political magazine.
It’s a great feeling. A deep satisfaction. And like with all things near to your heart it’s a satisfaction that does not feed on applause, on likes, on some other feedback (though welcome and appreciated, of course). No, this satisfaction is self-contained. It feeds on the thing itself, on your passion for a thing.
I stop here before I’m getting too dramatic and encourage you to head over to fanzineindex.de – there are many really good photos of fanzines (mainly from the 90s and early 2000s) so that you can enjoy it even if you don’t speak German!
All the photos, by the way, have been made by my favourite photographer Hannes!